hey peeps

I'm feeling depressed today.

Somedays i wake up and i feel great and get ready and have fun and i come home and sometimes i blog, sometimes i put pics up...

Today i just feel ugly:(

I looked at this pic from the other day and i thought i looked casual, girly but natural. Today i look at the pic and all i see are my faults.

How come i seem to be the only girl in Notts and the surrounding 50m that actually goes out and does normal stuff. I try to do everyday things but (barring the very few normal online friends) i only seem to attract nutters or admirers. I wanna just do regular stuff with other girls who are passable, confident and overall just normal.

Are there any normal girls out there?

I need to hear some love from y'all.

xXx

(More) New Shoes

Hiya girls n boys,

Let me tell you a story....

The other day i got off the train at Nottingham station (i had just been to London to swim the length of the River Thames for a dare), ok thats bollocks but the reason i was in London is irrelevant in this story:)

So i got off the train and im walking thru Notts city centre to Victoria bus station so i could catch the R1 bus home, anyways as i was walking past the Kurt Geiger shop on Bridlesmith Gate a pair of shoes caught my eye.... ooooooohhh Shhhhooooooeeeeeeessssssss. So i was stood there at the window like Charlie at the gates of the Chocolate factory and i shook myself "No Samantha! You have enough shoes! No More!!!"

So i then wandered to my bus and spent nearly 3 days dreaming of these new shoes, it went from slightly wanting them, to really wanting them, to needing them, through to "if i don

t get those shoes life wont be worth living" I NEED THOSE SHOES! FYI the shoes are 'Carvela - Habit' by Kurt Geiger if your interested.

I was chatting on MSN to a friend and i was telling her about the shoes and i said i was going to go get them, she asked if i would be going dressed and i replied "of course, it would feel weird if i didnt go dressed, wouldnt it?"

So my question is: How do other girls feel about shopping while dressed?

The reason i would feel weird going into the Kurt Geiger shop as a boy and asking to try some Platform Shoes on while in my jeans and tshirt, i would defo get some strange looks, and it kinda spoils the whole experience by chickening out of going dressed.

Anyway i was dressed casually, minimal makeup so i didnt feel sexy (much).lol

So i parked the Ferrari at the Lace Market and walked to the shop and when i went in i saw "my" shoes... a girl came up to me and asked if she could help so i gave her a really really big smile, pointed and said "those shoes keep appearing in my dreams, i have to have them", She laughed and got me to try them on and walk around in front of the mirror.... oooh they fit perfectly. I gotta have them.

The assistant was w

icked and commented on me being a "tranny with taste!" she laughed with me about 'not all trannys buying tat from charity shops'.

So i bounced out of the shop £120 lighter but with a mega pair of shoes...yay

On my way back to my Ferrari i spotted the MAC shop.

Within minutes i was chatting to the assistant girl about stuff, they are always dead friendly and love helping tranny's out. I got some powder to give my face a more summery glow, now i style my own hair i find that my face can sometimes appear less colorful, The good thing about MAC is they store your profile so next time you go in you give them your name and they instantly know what needs renewing, handy cos you never need to remember what tint your foundation is, or what colors suit you.

So £25 later i left for home. Total time spent shopping = only 1hour!! how quick am i ???!?

Check out my website for more pics of my wicked shoes!

Every tranny should try this....

I bought some of that Veet "spray-on" hair removal mousse yesterday and i decided to try it today.

Wow! this is the best stuff i've tried before, it is far less messy than normal cream you apply with a sponge, you can spray it in every nook and cranny should you need to, it is mega mega fast to apply too. i managed to do all my legs, chest and arms in less than 3mins.

I waited 10 mins, cos i dont have sensitive skin so i always leave it slightly longer than it says, i hopped in the shower and 50% of the hairs just washed off from the pressure of the shower, the rest just get washed off in normal scrubbing.

I am so impressed, and Superdrug have a special buy one, get the second one half price deal at the moment.

This gets my seal of approval, i wont be returning to old style creams!

xXx

Shoe's... Deja Vu!

So its all happening again...

I was in River Island the other day and i saw some shoes that i felt would go particularly well with the new top i had in my hand. So i quickly tried them on and omg they looked totally hott!

I was ready to buy them until i saw the price tag of £75! ouch. So i left thinkin i could find some the same cheaper elsewhere, i then went to Schuh, Primark, Peacocks, United Footwear, New Look, Monsoon, Topshop i even tried the internet but after 2 days of intensive searching im resigning myself to the fact i have now GOT to go and spend £75 grrr

excuse me....? excuse me....?? EXCUSE ME!!!??? Shift your trolley outta my way or i'll stab you in the eye with my Jimmy Choo's!

OK i can confirm i have run the gauntlet and survived.... What the hell am i talking about?? I'm talking about the local supermarket Tesco's in Ilkeston.

Now i know there a lot of girls out there that enjoy the 1am visit to the biscuit aisle wearing their grans knickers but im talkin about shopping in the middle of the day!

So how come i got all brave all of a sudden?

Well, like any good film involving a flashback to a prior time let me take you all back to Tuesday morning.

The past week or so hasn't been great, i've been feeling a little depressed about not having much money (ed: Samantha, you spent all your savings on something for your boy-life so it serves you right!). OK so it does serve me right but anyhow im sat there watchin Paramount Comedy channel which is the best channel, and i decided to take my £30 and do some shopping, but this story would be boring if i simply went shopping, there has to be a tranny twist to it somewhere.?.?.. Ah!... here it is: I decided life is too short to worry what people will think and i just chucked some clothes on and off i went.

I've wanted my hair styled properly for ages, i had it done once before but it was much shorter and i went in boy-mode to the salon so i decided to stop by a hair salon on the way to Tesco's.

20mins later and im sat in the chair and the stylists are all bubbling round me and chattin and just being nice. wow. what a nice environment no wonder girls like to go and get their hair done all the time lol.

I took with me a couple of pics of hair i liked and just left it in her hands, my instructions were make it so i dont need an hour to style it it has to be easy.

1hr 30mins later and omg im totally astounded .... my hair! wow im so totally impressed.

Well i left the salon and i took my £18.50 change and headed to the supermarket. It is amazing how much confidence this gave me, not just the whole experience of being around other normal humans, but i checked myself out in the mirror and ok i might be biased but it was 100% girl looking back at me.

It doesnt matter how good a wig is, it is nothing like gettin your own hair styled. All the little nuances like round the ears and the fringe line and how it moves, people look at you and see girly haircut think it must be a girl. ha fooled ya!

Let me give you an idea of where my confidence is:

I normally go out shopping in town when im feeling pretty confident, if im feeling crap i just usually wander round the high st but not going in the shops.

I've never had the confidence to get dressed up and actually go and do a meaningful task like doing the weekly shop, weird uh? I guess its the though of having to interact with the checkout mong while everyone else is gawking at you.

Well after having my haircut i was buzzing so i knew i was never gonna fail this mission! Not while im looking this convincing! No failure here!..... er actually maybe a little bit... read on.

How i failed:

Technically i didnt "fail" going shopping in tesco's its just that when i got in there the first thing i saw was a sexy red coat and i thought, y'know what that coat would look good on me, so i bought it with the £18.50 shopping money and then some off my credit card too. D'oh!

Well ok so i left the supermarket with mixed feelings: on one hand wow i got a great coat and on the other hand my girlfriend is gonna kill me when she hasnt got milk for her tea (she's addicted to tea, i dont mean she just likes it... oh no try to imagine how a drug addict is tweaking after not having crystal-meth for a couple of days.... thats how she is with the tea lol)

I try to put the threat of imminent death to the back of my mind and i head home.... "oooooh" i thought as i drove past Next, next minute im parked up in the carpark and my credit card is dragging me to the shop floor haha.

I picked up a wicked pair of sunglasses... and some new earrings (pierced ears rock, if you've not had them done girls you dont know what your missin), i also got some other jewellery but decided to stop before my credit card melted.

So anyway i got home and feeling fab i had a shower and got all cosy wondering what to do tomorrow.

Wednesday AM

Decided it would be a nice feature on my website to document my transformation procedure 'AKA putting my makeup' on.

So check out my website for that feature, it took me 10 times longer to actually put it on my site than to actually do my makeup so i hope it helps a few girls out.

Anyway im feeling fab, its sunny, i got my shades on, i got my new red jacket on.... im feeling fan-bloody-tastic!

So i went shopping.... Back to tesco's! this time i actually managed to endure the directionally challenged trolleyites and the zombie like homebrand seekers for over 30 minutes and i actually managed to do the shopping.... and i got the milk for her indoors too!

Long story short, since having my hair done i've spoken to, and been around more people than ever before. It is a liberating feeling. Even when i'd go out before feeling 100% i still felt that i maybe got the odd passing sideways glance.

This time the only looks i got were from the men checking out this young, well dressed, well madeup piece of skirt shopping in Hicksville! Well i felt like Kate Moss on a council estate anyway lol (not as bad a feeling as one would think!)

So thats what i've been upto these past couple of days, If i'd have known that simply spending £12.50 on a haircut would inspire me this much i'd have done it long ago.

So its now thursday night and im back home after another mammoth shopping trip spanning Leicester, Notts AND Derby, i feel great and i hope by reading this i have made you guys smile with my infectious happyness! :)

Samantha xXx

Stubble

Grrrrrrr....  When i said i've been stubble free for 3 months, I spoke too soon!

I have been postponing my laser appointments since early January cos ive not had any hair growth, but within the last week loads of hairs on my top lip have woken up and decided to sprout...boooo.

So im booked in for my appointment next week. 

However as much as this pisses me off that im not totally hair free, i now understand how hair growth works. Let me explain it in my own way....

My laser technician says i need to have a session every 4 weeks, Other people say every 8-12 weeks. Let me tell you how it really works:

1) The hairs get zapped and after about a week all fall out....

2) For an unspecified period of time you will be hair free (this could be 2 weeks but will more likely be over 6 weeks)

3) Once all your hairs start sprouting out again, book another laser appointment and have another session.

Of course sometimes your sessions will be 6 weeks apart and other times they will be 15 weeks apart. It all depends on your hair growth.

Dont go for a laser session though unless you actually have sprouting hairs cos otherwise your just wasting your money.

i for one would have had only 6 sessions if i'd have followed the tips above instead of over 10.

xXx

Brrrrr....

So the other night around 10pm i was walking home and i was absolutely freeeeeeezing!! 

jeez i knew it was pretty cold outside but miniskirt + tiny coat + january = me shaking uncontrollably .. wow i must have looked like i was bopping to some random disco music while i was walking through the high street lol.

I suddenly realised what life at the north pole might be like on a warm day... next time i go out im wearing my jeans and a warm jumper and i dont care how casual i look... better to be a warm cosy tranny rather than some fantastic looking, sexy dressed popsicle  methinks.

oh and i went on a chatsite the other day and my webcam popped into life (good thing i was dressed and looking fab) this site had girls from all over the UK on webcam... (NOT porn... you dirty minded people lol) ok i thought it was a little bit boring but i managed to start a mexican wave via webcam which started here in Nottingham and then worked its way north via Manchester and ended in Scotland somewhere... i'd like to think i livened the night up in that place with my random antics lol.

Also, 1 day into my website google ad campaign and i've already made $0.16 cents... er... wooo! ahem!

xXx Samantha xXx

PS - Boooo.... the snow is nearly gone.